You can almost picture the video producers tittering behind cupped hands in their planning meetings for ‘Telephone’, Beyonce and Lady Gaga’s latest offering. Checking off the What is Controversial list – ok guys, what have we got. Girl on girl action? Yep, but keep it PG. Snarling women in jail? Yeah, make them pump weights too. A titillatingly-named large vehicle? Get that one from that film made by that guy who did Pulp Fiction. Poisoning of the boyfriend? Yeah go on, throw that in as well, nothing better than a guy choking while hot girls dance over him in flag-underwear.
Now I’m a fan of both Lady Gaga and Beyonce – they’re good at what they do and anyone who can get away with accepting an award while wearing a doily is fine in my eyes. But what is funny about this video is that it’s supposed to be something scandalous and empowering for these mega stars when in fact it peddles out every male-spun cliché in the over-thumbed book of music video plot lines. My heart and inner soul sigh with a weary fatigue at the sight of another engineered girl-on-girl kiss, nonetheless one set in a prison. Even when Madonna and Britney did it, about a 137 years ago in MTV years, nobody cared so why should we now? It’s just salivating producers going for the lowest shock-tactic level.
Driving a Pussy Wagon, hee hee! Ho ho! Did you know that pussy is also another word for female genitalia? Yes! Yes it is!
It’s as if they’ve gone so far with Lady Gaga’s wardrobe of lit-cigarette glasses and telephone-hat that they took a couple of sleeping pills with everything else, going for style over, well, everything. Hey, it isn’t meant to be Schindler’s List, you say – yes that’s true but if shock tactics are really what they’re after why don’t they really truly shock me by showing Lady Gaga kissing a goat, Beyonce tap-dancing a Satanic ritual routine or both of them serving tea to a cat? No, is that too weird? Ok – girl on girl kissing then.
Next time stars want to shock and do new things, maybe they should actually do that instead of churning out soft-brained male-pleasing nonsense?