January blues

14 Jan

Why is January such a crap month?

No, seriously, why? There is such a sense of anti-climax about January. We dance, eat, drink and eat some more through December. Bank balances are fat because of early Christmas salaries. We throw money with abandon and wave our hands in the air, yes like we just don’t care, on New Years Eve and we shake our significantly widened booties.

And then comes January. Limp, weak-wristed, red blotchy-faced January peeks his head around the door, wearing his diamond-squared v neck cardigan and NHS glasses with his hair brushed by his mother, and meekly asks ‘Can I come in’. And before you can say ‘yes’, he has sat down, blowing his nose noisily and has started talking about how his toes are hurting from the cold. He emits a horrible gas that makes your eyes water with it’s hopeless despair.

January is a stenchy, blotchy old man who has replaced my shiny, muscly, sparkly-eyed December.

I am struggling to get through this month. This is because of many reasons – personal, work and finance related. I am even struggling to pretend I’m happy, which is normally the least you can do to avoid being labelled ‘miserable git’. It is depressing and hard. January, please go away.


Posted by on January 14, 2010 in Uncategorized


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2 responses to “January blues

  1. Mandy

    January 14, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    At the risk of sounding super smug or extra depressive, I quite like January. Isn’t it more the podgy little child entering the room and kicking the blotchy, stenchy old man of December out? It’s a time of resolutions and new starts. Now February, that really sucks. It should be getting warmer but it isn’t. New year’s resolutions and new starts have gone to the dogs. And of course there’s the delight of the 14th to look forward to…..

    • explosivechutney

      January 15, 2010 at 10:44 am

      I note your point Mandy and yes, the joys of the 14th are indeed looming upon us. But at least in February you feel like the year has started properly, the anti climax is over and you can actually start doing things instead of sitting in a dirty puddle of old man’s piss. Let’s just look forward to March then…although not sure that’s the healthiest attitude. By the way yesterday I found out that all these problems can be solved very easily with a foot-long meatball sub from Subway.


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